Top 10 Worst Hymn Phrases

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Many people complain that today's modern worship songs are shallow and lack meaning. Well, as I was looking through an old hymnal today I found these gems that I have labeled the 10 Worst Hymn Phrases. These are for real!

Before Jehovah’s awefull throne - not very awe-inspiring!

Behold! A stranger at the door - sounds like a line in a bad Dinner Theater show

Behold us, Lord, a little space - so what you're saying is, I need my space?

Fling out the banner! Let it float - this one is just weird

Go, labor on! Spend and be spent - sounds like too much work!

How tedious and tasteless the hours - there has to be a better way to say it than this. Try singing this with a heavy Valley Girl accent for the right effect.

Into the woods my Master went - Is he coming back? Where did he go?

Joy is a fruit that will not grow - this is very strange. Why would anyone want that?

Not in dumb resignation - best sung with tongue hanging out to one side while drooling.

O brother man, fold to thy heart thy brother - do what to my brother?

All of a sudden the phrase "sloppy wet kiss" from He Loves isn't so bad! Maybe you have some others to share. I'd love to hear them.


Anonymous said...

This one always weirded me out: "Classrooms and labs, loud boiling test tubes, sing to the Lord a new song!" -that's actually in the Presbyterian Hymnal

David Good said...

That is a very weird line. Never heard that one before. Thanks for sharing.

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