Top 10 Worst Hymn Phrases

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Many people complain that today's modern worship songs are shallow and lack meaning. Well, as I was looking through an old hymnal today I found these gems that I have labeled the 10 Worst Hymn Phrases. These are for real!

Before Jehovah’s awefull throne - not very awe-inspiring!

Behold! A stranger at the door - sounds like a line in a bad Dinner Theater show

Behold us, Lord, a little space - so what you're saying is, I need my space?

Fling out the banner! Let it float - this one is just weird

Go, labor on! Spend and be spent - sounds like too much work!

How tedious and tasteless the hours - there has to be a better way to say it than this. Try singing this with a heavy Valley Girl accent for the right effect.

Into the woods my Master went - Is he coming back? Where did he go?

Joy is a fruit that will not grow - this is very strange. Why would anyone want that?

Not in dumb resignation - best sung with tongue hanging out to one side while drooling.

O brother man, fold to thy heart thy brother - do what to my brother?

All of a sudden the phrase "sloppy wet kiss" from He Loves isn't so bad! Maybe you have some others to share. I'd love to hear them.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This one always weirded me out: "Classrooms and labs, loud boiling test tubes, sing to the Lord a new song!" -that's actually in the Presbyterian Hymnal

David Good said...

That is a very weird line. Never heard that one before. Thanks for sharing.

 
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